Here's Everything.

Issue number 1: Myself
dude. i don't know how to put how I'm feeling to words. i know about blogs that you really shouldn't hold back in them well I'm trying not to but i guess its force of habit. So for the few people who actually do read my blog this is hard for me. Ha. I'm pathetic.
If you know me you know I'm not very good at expressing my feelings. i always have my guard up. do you think i enjoy being this hateful, mad person all the time? No! i hate it. i hate being mad all the time. i hate that i blame myself for everything. if i had 3 wishes my first wish would to be some one completely different. if i could recreate myself i wouldn't have divorced parents. i wouldn't keep my guard up 24/7. i would actually trust more than 2 people. i wouldn't be mad at the world constantly. i would be a likable person to be around. i would never be jealous. i would be the best christian ever. i would actually keep a boyfriend more than two weeks.Ha. But reality check please? I'm none of those things. I'm a loner and I probably always will be. And even if I tried to change myself. People would say I was fake. I would also feel really uncomfortable I guess I will always be the loner who no one really actually does like.

Issue number 2: My family
Yes, I love my family well some members of it anyways. I know that you can't Hate your dad but my feelings towards him are very close to hating him. He has the maturity of a high school boy and it feels like he blames everything on me. As you may know my parents are divorced. I love it and I hate it. I love it because they aren't supposed to be together and you can easily tell it too. I hate it for many reasons: I hate switching houses every week, I hate how everything feels like its my fault. I hate how they constantly fight. ugh! Wow, I'm surprised that I'm not crying. I've learned from my family that no one really does care anymore. I've learned that you just have to suck it up and get over it. Thats probably why I am a stone.




My mom wants on the computer. I'll rant about my life later.

Bye. :P